The path is steep. The currents are incomparable. The roads are filled with potholes, and if you aren’t careful….you’ll go for a spin. The journey to the top is tedious, and often lonely. But, it’s a beautiful view.

Two of the most basic things that you can do to set yourself up for lifelong abundance is to:

  1. Become a vibrational match for it.
  2. Live your life as if you’re already abundant.
  3. Express gratitude.


“Sit with winners, the conversation is different.”

grayscale photography of chessboard game

If you aren’t at the table, you’re on the menu.

Becoming a vibrational match for the life you desire is as simple as aligning yourself with the traits of what you seek. For example, if you’re seeking wealth you want to surround yourself with people who are wealthy. The conversation is different. Gossip constitutes about 90% of the human conversation, and I personally like to believe that the other 10% is made up of millionaires who discuss wealth and winning.  The fashion in which you attract abundance also relies heavily on your beliefs and patterns. Do you truly believe that you deserve abundance? What do your actions show? The bulk of us grew up watching our parents struggle at certain times and/or living paycheck to paycheck. They didn’t have elbow room and had to make money stretch over an extended period of time. If this was your childhood, it’s very likely that you’ve been conditioned to believe you were only born to pay bills and die. It can be very difficult and scary to operate outside of your “norm”.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”

As you can imagine, your chances of attracting wealth and abundance are a great slim to none if you continue to practice the thought pattern that you’re only here to survive. That could not be further from the truth. You are here to flourish and live limitless. In order to attract abundance, you have to unlearn and relearn. It’s as simple as believing that you deserve it. Remember that we do not CREATE abundance. Abundance is ever-present – we create limitations.


speed boats docked near house

I can not stress this enough! Acting the part is also a slice of becoming a vibrational match. The Law of Attraction says that what you put out is what you get back. Take a moment and reflect on your current state of mind. Check in with your emotions. What is your mental state at the moment? Are you worrying about never becoming wealthy? Are you putting yourself down because you aren’t as far in life as you envisioned yourself to be 20 years ago? Are you dressed for the occasion?

You can NOT attract abundance if you aren’t prematurely living as if you already have it. This doesn’t mean to go out and get five credit cards, and then go on a shopping spree. Living as if you already have wealth is a state of mind and self-love is one of the best practices for this.

  • Put yourself first. That nice pair of heels that you’ve been craving but never purchased because you didn’t have anywhere to wear them to? GET THEM. Let everything work itself out. Abundance looks a little like you buying those new heels and then getting a last-minute emergency call to attend that event that you’ve had your eyes on for quite some time.
  • Find something to do in each day that makes you feel abundant.It could be as simple as taking a day to get a mani and pedi. I know it doesn’t sound like a huge fantasy because most people find a way to squeeze it into their budget. However, if you look at it on a larger scale, a trip to the nail shop is a luxury that not everyone is afforded. Doing this attracts some form of abundance.

Visualize. Vizualize. Vizualize. How you see yourself is extreme! If you never take the time to sit and visualize yourself doing what you’re passionate about, good luck attracting it. It is pertinent that you see yourself doing something other than clocking into your 9-5 job each day. You cannot go on viewing your life through the same lens that you’ve always viewed it through. Switch perspectives and evolve on your old self. If your dream is to be a model, visualize yourself walking down the runway during NY Fashion Week. Practice your walk as you’re headed to the time clock to clock in/out for the day. Strike a pose when you pass by the mirror every day. Live your life in a way that reflects what you want, because the universe conspires to help the dreamer.


You always start with gratitude, and you always end with it. Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful for where you are. Be grateful for the setbacks, and be grateful for the comeback. When you project gratefulness, you attract abundance. Once your mindset shifts to you expressing gratitude for what you have in your life, you’re able to be trusted with more than your mind could ever fathom.

The easiest way to practice gratitude is to make positive affirmations a habit.

  • I am grateful for my life and everyone in it.
  • My life is filled with an abundance of goodness.
  • My gratitude is a magnet for manifestation.
  • Every situation in my life has a purpose for being.

Always seal your request with gratitude that it is already being fulfilled, and then own it. Talk as if you already have what is yours. Walk with the confidence that it takes to posses it. Reach for it as if it’s already tangible. Take a deep breath and inhale the smell of fresh money coming your way. Make sure that your choices always align with anything that you are seeking to gain, and you have no choice but to attract it. Remember that the choices you make are a reflection of you. Don’t be caught with your work undone. Take care of yourself and the universe will take care of you.

Godspeed to each of you on your new journey to abundance.

to the woman who got left…

A man’s worst nightmare is the woman that he left in the dirt.

For she grew..

Let’s start with affirmations:

You are enough. You are beautiful. You are worthy. Only love can reach you. Isn’t it difficult to stay optimistic when you’ve experienced nothing short of let downs? To the girl who let her guard down only to end up heartbroken again, this is for you.

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling as if you aren’t good enough for someone you love. Once you begin to understand your power, you’ll know that this feeling has nothing to do with you and everything to do with someone simply projecting their insecurities onto you. Sometimes we as women have a tendency to tie our self-worth to a man and soon enough we rely on that same man to validate our beauty. With that comes a consistent need for approval and acceptance, and before we know it, we’ve completely changed ourselves for someone else.

I once read a quote that said “Everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to find the one who’s worth it.” I agree in a sense. You’ll experience moments where your partner’s actions just downright hurt. However, after expressing that these things have hurt you, there shouldn’t be a second occurrence. You’re not responsible for what happens to you because some things are just beyond your control. You are responsible for healing, building yourself back up, and learning the lesson.

BE WHO YOU ARE, and never apologize for it. The one for you will not expect you to change yourself for him. A man who loves you will accept you for who you are, and will not gaslight or manipulate you into being someone that you are not. I tell my friends all the time that men HAVE to cut the habit of being attracted to a woman for how she is and then expecting her to tone down after getting into a relationship with them. You deserved to be love where you are.

DON’T DOUBLE BACK. You will absolutely experience moments of loneliness and worthlessness, but stand firm. Don’t waste your time trying to prove that you can be a good woman to him. Naturally, we want to know where things went wrong…and that’s okay. But don’t spend so much time analyzing and picking the situation apart. Doing so can lead to vulnerability and you may find yourself trying to breathe life into a dead situation. Don’t be weak, bitch!

DON’T SEEK REVENGE. As my good friend said in his book ‘The Bad Bitch Bible’, LET IT GO, BITCH. There’s an old chinese proverb that says “If you dig one grave, you better dig two.” Getting even is the worst thing that you can do to yourself. Why do you care so much? What point do you have to prove? And to who? Think about WHY you feel the need to get revenge. Let it go. If you’re bettering yourself, be sure that you’re doing it for YOU and not anyone else. You will only make yourself miserable trying to make your ex jealous when he probably doesn’t even care. Don’t compete where you can’t compare.

OCCUPY YOUR TIME. Take this time to call your energy back to you! Return to doing what you loved to do before this relationship ended. Maybe you’ve skipped a few gym sessions because you’ve been caught up in spending time with your lover. You need to occupy your time, and what better way to do it than picking back up old, healthy habits? My favorite thing to do after a breakup is write. I’m not all that great at expressing how i feel in the moment, but paper and pen always help me through. I’m so content with pouring a glass of wine, putting on ‘Chilombo’ and writing my life away. Fill your empty spaces doing things that serve you.

STOP BLEEDING ON OTHER PEOPLE. This is one of my biggest pet peeves! TAKE TIME TO HEAL!!!!!!! After ending one of my most challenging relationships, the very last thing that I wanted to do was look for another. I knew that I was so mentally depleted and just not ready to date. I remember being approached by a really sweet guy and the moment that he brought up the topic of dating my exact words were “That wouldn’t be fair because I don’t have anything to give you.” I didn’t. I was rediscovering myself as a person and couldn’t give anyone anything that I couldn’t even give myself. I completely lacked affection, love, and trust. You HAVE to be mature enough to be selfless. It’s not fair to anyone to have to endure withdrawal and betrayal simply because of what you went through in your last relationship. Stop dating while you’re healing, you’re damaging innocent people.

BUILD YOURSELF BACK UP. This is ultimately the meat of this post and the setting for how your life will progress. Take all the time that you need, but don’t forget to build yourself back up. You owe yourself that much. You deserve love, but you have to be ready to receive it. So, he chipped away at your self esteem? BUILD YOURSELF BACK UP. He told you that you weren’t beautiful anymore? BUILD YOURSELF BACK UP. You’re not responsible for what he said, but you are responsible for your healing.

So how do you build yourself up?

It’s important to understand that in this situation, what’s good for the goose may not be good for the gander. If you’ve experienced a good amount of trauma, you may benefit from counseling and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ll always advocate for anyone to do what’s best for their situation. However, I want to leave you with some takeaways that are sure to bring you some comfort.

1. AFFIRMATIONS. I started this post with affirmations and i’m ending it with the same, because how we speak to ourselves is so critical. When you feed your spirit positivity, you produce positive results. Now, this is not an overnight transformation but consistency and faith is key. One of my favorite quotes from Eintstein says “Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way.” Amazing right? Even more amazing is the truth behind this statement. Our minds are so powerful that just a simple thought can influence our reality. “I am beautiful.” “My body is perfect.” “I am worthy of true love.” “What’s meant for me will never pass me by.” Speak these things, believe them, and watch your life flourish.

2. DO SHADOW WORK. I hope that at this point i’ve convinced you to take time to heal. Along with healing comes shadow work. Just because he left doesn’t mean that you’re flawless. In fact, if you’ve had many failed relationships you’ve probably questioned if anything is wrong with you. Take this time to explore the dark side of yourself that you may not be aware of- your ego and your archetype personality. Ouch, right?! Confront your ego and improve your life. Shadow work simply calls forth the unconscious side of us and seeks to improve it. Use shadow work so that whenever you are ready to date again, you’ll have a healthier understanding of self.

3. REDIRECT THE ENERGY. My greatest productions and publications came after I went through shit. Energy is ever present and never ever dies. I always reference my recently published book when speaking on redirecting energy. My book was not supposed to be a book, it was an experience that I journaled about. Most of you know that I experienced pregnancy loss back in February and after discovering that I couldn’t physically speak about it without getting choked up, I wrote how I felt instead. I wrote about how I felt physically and how I felt mentally. My body went through a lot of changes. I was depressed, paranoid and ended up developing PTSD overall. I laid in bed for a week after it happened and thought about how many women have experienced the exact same thing and didn’t have any guidance. I channeled all of the negative energy I was holding onto and redirected it into helping the next woman and this is how my book was born.

Up above i referenced a book titled ‘The Bad Bitch Bible”, and I want to give you the opportunity to purchase your very own copy. The author, Kristopher Welcome wrote this book with you in mind. Click the link to become a bad bitch today:

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